The Barney Shuffle

Massachusetts congressional candidate Sean Bielat has a very unfortunate last name. It sounds french and gay, and french people tend to be short and gay, so his name, by the powers of the transitive property, sounds short and gay and once more gay.

This is only unfortunate because for Bielat, not being allowed to serve in the military for being short, a.k.a. physically unqualified, is the same thing as not being allowed to serve for being gay, even if one is physically qualified.

Bielat ran this political ad against his openly gay opponent Barney Frank: (warning, hilarious)

Gawker reports:

Yeah, where are all the lil’ fellas handcuffing themselves to the White House gates in protest? They know they’re too damn short to go about warring; why can’t gay people realize they’re too damn attracted to members of the same sex? Hard to argue with Bielat’s logic, as presented.

Except that one group isn’t physically able to serve, while the other is. It’s not like “gay” means, say, you have zero arms and charcoal for eyes. You just like banging people of the same sex, in your free time